Articles by Charlotte Gambill

HOPE - The anchor of your soul

'Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.' (Luke 1:36-37)

If ever a scripture told my present story, this is it. As I start to write this article, I am sitting in the antenatal clinic, six months pregnant. Nothing special to most people, it's just a natural part of life. But for me it's a miracle.

Four years ago Steve and I decided it was a good time to start a family. It was a deep desire of our hearts and something we spoke about often. We were excited as we tried to imagine what our child would be like, as all parents do. One year later I found myself sitting in a doctor's surgery being told, 'Mrs Gambill, I think you need to face the fact that you may never be able to have children.' I sat there startled and confused by the seemingly casual announcement. This could not be true. But was it? Was the well-meaning doctor's word the final one on this matter? No, we didn't believe so. Steve and I knew deeply that our desire for a child was God-given, so we just couldn't accept that this was the final word. And there began a challenging journey which was to last another three years.

HOPE: For more than me

I began a course of treatment that involved daily injections and hospital visits on alternate days. I was prodded, poked, examined and x-rayed - you name it, I had it! Fairly early on in the journey, I decided that if I had to go through all this hassle and pain it was going to be so I could gain a testimony that would help others; it had to be about more than just me.

As a Pastor in the Church I also felt a sense of responsibility to lead through these circumstances. It would often have been so easy and justifiable to get up and have a good moan about the nightmare we were going through. And as each year went by this temptation grew stronger and stronger. After all, as the Bible says, 'a problem shared is a problem halved.' Or maybe it was someone else who said it! What I do know is that through all this, I learned a very big lesson. I learned that one of the greatest gifts you can give to people as a leader is to be an example of how to grow in adversity. The platform should never be a place for us to share our problems but a place from which we reveal and make accessible the God who said he would 'make a way where there is no way.'

This resolve was tested at the most amazing times. There were occasions when I would feel like giving up and quitting; times when God would not comfort or stroke me but instead push and prompt me to sow a different kind of seed. He once gave me a word for a couple who were infertile and I remember arguing with God and saying, 'how can I give away what I don't have myself?' But as I obeyed and prayed for this couple I realised I was sowing a seed into my own future, and if I did not give up, at the proper time I would reap a harvest. (Galatians 6:8-9) News soon came back to me that the couple were expecting a baby; they had their miracle pregnancy. Then it hit me, God was using me to bless others in spite of my personal trial and sharing their joy fuelled the excitement and anticipation for my own miracle. So, I threw baby shower parties for expectant Mums, bought baby clothes for new born babies and in so doing, sent a signal to my soul that, 'we will rejoice and trust in him.' (Psalm 33:21) I did everything I could to make sure my soul was anchored in him and not in my circumstances.

One of my most significant tests came at the moment I discovered our eighth cycle of treatment had failed. In that moment I just was putting the microphone on to go out and speak at the first evening of our annual 'Cherish' women's conference. I stood there feeling like crying. But at the same time looked out and saw hundred's of hungry women excitedly waiting for God's Word, many of whom had no doubt been through worse things than me. This was a powerful visual reminder of what it was all about. The enemy would love to have stolen that moment and distract me from the bigger picture. I remember preaching that night and feeling so aware that at the right time, I would have my testimony to share with these women, a testimony that would help many others face the giant in their life, whatever it may be.

It was just one month later that we found out I was pregnant. Now 'she who was said to be barren' sits here smiling, six months pregnant and our baby will be here just in time for Cherish 2003. Isn't God amazing!

HOPE: Leaves its mark

Our joy and excitement is all the more special as I recall the words of Paul who said, 'I bear on my body the marks.' (Galatians 6:17) I share this story because sometimes people think leaders never go through such trials or tests. But we all face giants, just like David faced Goliath, and we all have the same choice to either run from them or take their head off.

Some things in life mark you. They leave a permanent scar, which is beautiful if seen in the right way. My scars can give faith and hope to thousands of other people and yours can too. Over the past four years of emotional ups and downs, I have discovered more than ever that in God I have 'hope as an anchor for my soul, firm and secure.' (Galatians 6:19) One day Lara Martin our Worship Pastor, who was one of the few friends who knew all that we were going through, said to me, 'Charlotte, I've written a song for you.' I knew it was not just for me - it would actually bless thousands - but at that moment, it said so perfectly everything I wanted to say:

'Through the storm, yet I will praise you.
Despite it all yet I will sing.
Through good or bad, yet I will worship,
For you remain the same King of Kings.
You are the voice of hope,
The anchor of my soul...'

Whatever your barrenness is, whether a barren womb, a barren relationship, an unproductive job situation, poor health or impoverished finances, take hope. However badly the situation may scar you, it won't kill you. It is the struggle that makes you strong. As Pastor Paul Scanlon reminded us recently, 'Without an enemy your present is permanent.' In other words, we need resistance and adversity to graduate us to a higher level in God.

HOPE: Anchors your soul

When you are in your storm, and you may be there right now, you can do what Jesus did; he fell asleep in the boat. How? By realising that your life is in his hands. He is the unshakeable anchor of your soul. And if you will remain strong and keep going, you will pass through your 'valley of tears and make it a place of springs!' (Psalm 84:6)

In a few months time we will see the arrival of our beautiful baby girl - no, we couldn't wait to find out the sex! She will be called Hope, because she has taught us once again that hope truly is the anchor of our soul. Whatever you are reaching, believing, praying and crying out to God for today, I stand with you. I pray that you will come to know even more deeply the God who makes a way, where there is no way! And when he does, share your story. Remember, nothing is impossible with God. In my womb I am carrying last year's impossibility...